Fun fact about me: I’m not too fond of journaling. I wouldn’t think this is weird if it weren’t for the fact that I like writing. What writer doesn’t like journaling? I feel like I’m breaking some cardinal writng rule or living some fake writer’s life.

It’s not for lack of trying, either. I have attempted to journal in the past. I’ve invested money in pretty notebooks, cute journals, and plain diaries. I’ve attempted to do Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages and various other guided journals. But I’ve never stuck with any of them for a long period of time. I think in part, it is because I am so much in my head. I think and analyze my thoughts and feelings so many times internally, that I don’t feel the need to regurgitate them on paper. But I know that process is crucial for some people and that it can provide some excellent insights, especially for creative folks.

Another challenge I face regarding a consistent journaling practice is a lack of time (and sometimes energy). Living with a disability and chronic health problems isn’t an excuse not to journal, but it is a factor that I have to prioritize my health above all else in my life. If the reward of doing it were enough to overcome some of these obstacles, of course, I would do it. But for me, at least to this point in my life, the result hasn’t been reward enough.

I remember back in high school and college, some of my English teachers would require us to keep journals as part of our course work. I think it was a way for our instructors to have us explore our writing style and critique our grammar, syntax, and structure. Whatever the reason, I never minded keeping those journals. But I think it was out of wanting to earn an A in the class, and I was a very Type-A student.

I never kept a diary when I was young, and in adulthood, the only time I ever consistently journaled was when my husband and I (don’t judge) kept a Love Journal for the first two-ish years of our relationship. I treasure those journals. On special occasions like birthdays or our anniversary, we will flip back to those dates and read what we were thinking, feeling, or sharing. They are irreplaceable, and I am so glad we made them.

This leads me to the present day, and the journaling I am choosing to do now.

In late 2019 I was introduced to the idea of A 5-Year Journal. Japanese notebooks called Hobonicihi make a specific 5-Year-Journal, but to be honest, they are kind of pricey. Because I didn’t know if I would be able to keep up with the practice, I instead bought a less expensive 5-Year-Memory-Book called Some Lines A Day. It is precisely as it sounds. Each page is dedicated to a year’s day with five horizontal spaces, one meant for each year, which I fill in. So, for example, when it’s completely full, I can look back on New Years Day and read what I was compelled to write on that day over the span of 5 years. How cool is that?

That cool factor and time-capsule curiosity are what have kept me going with filling it out. It’s taken me a long time to build a habit of writing in it every day. Even though it is just a few lines, there are some nights that I am too busy or tired even those few lines can feel like a lot.

an inside spread photo of my 5 year journal

What makes this journal even more unique, if I can use that word, is that, for better or worse, it will be my COVID journal. It is not lost on me that we are living through a historic moment for our world. You can’t say that about many events in one’s lifetime. I certainly hope it is the only global pandemic I will ever experience. There are so many entries about topics that I never thought I would write about: N95 masks, social isolation, quarantining, vaccination, etc. I think it will be poignant to look back years from now and reflect on how I was feeling at that moment.

In closing out this blog post, I will include some randomly chosen entries. This should be interesting!

May 6, 2020: I got some things knocked off my to-do list for CID today. That felt good. I had a good dinner with Drew and watched Survivor. I hope Sara wins.
August 5, 2020: OMG today was so frustrating! I can’t believe how the simplest tasks can take so much time!! I hate tech issues. Oh well, at least I got some progress made— and I learned stuff.
November 21, 2020: Ever since I moved this journal back into the bedroom, with the new bookshelf headboard, I have consistently used it. It’s funny how the smallest things can make a really big impact.
July 10, 2021: Put a full day in today! Was up until 12:30 AM putting laundry away. Glad it is done. And! I had my first real sale in my shop!!! Feels so good. Now I just gotta ramp it up!
August 28, 2021: Saturdays are always good days to rest and relax. I slept in today and then just tidied up a bit, but also relaxed and watched the Giants plan. They are on a roll!

As you can tell, I am not chronicling earth-shattering insights or long-winded reflections. The small space for just a few lines a day to capture what comes to the top of my mind and heart for that particular day is good enough for me. I have peace with what I capture. And as I am getting to the midway point of capturing moments from the whole five years, I have more intrinsic motivation fill every last page.

The only question that lingers is, will this be the only journal or the first journal?